Cryptogram Answers
Cryptogram Puzzle #31:
"In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with clubs and yelled, it was called witchcraft; today, in civilized society, it is called golf."
- Unknown
Cryptogram Puzzle #32:
"To cease smoking is the easiest thing. I ought to know. I've done it a thousand times."
- Mark Twain
Cryptogram Puzzle #33:
"Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry."
- Bill Cosby
Cryptogram Puzzle #34:
"I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife."
- Ilie Nastase
Cryptogram Puzzle #35:
"Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic."
- Unknown
Cryptogram Puzzle #36:
"Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh man....I could be eating a slow learner."
- Lynda Montgomery
Cryptogram Puzzle #37:
"Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die."
- Unknown
Cryptogram Puzzle #38:
"Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother."
- Ken Dodd
Cryptogram Puzzle #39:
"I do not like broccoli. And I haven't liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it. And I'm President of the United States and I'm not going to eat any more broccoli."
- President George H. W. Bush
Cryptogram Puzzle #40:
"My formula for success is rise early, work late, and strike oil."
- Paul Getty
Cryptogram Puzzle #41:
"If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button."
- Sam Levenson
Cryptogram Puzzle #42:
"College football is a sport that bears the same relation to education that bullfighting does to agriculture."
- Elbert Hubbard
Cryptogram Puzzle #43:
"I love deadlines. I especially love the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."
- Douglas Adams
Cryptogram Puzzle #44:
"I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph."
-Shirley Temple
Cryptogram Puzzle #45:
"If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?"
- Milton Berle
Cryptogram Puzzle #46:
"You can't put a price tag on love, but you can on all its accessories."
- Melanie Clark
Cryptogram Puzzle #47:
“I think the monkeys at the zoo should have to wear sunglasses so they can't hypnotize you.”
- Jack Handy
Cryptogram Puzzle #48:
"I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they're cramming for their final exam."
- George Carlin
Cryptogram Puzzle #49:
"Why does the Air Force need expensive new bombers? Have the people we've been bombing over the years been complaining?"
- George Wallace
Cryptogram Puzzle #50:
"The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house."
- Jeff Foxworthy