Cryptogram Puzzles #31-50: Answers

Cryptogram Answers

Cryptogram Puzzle #31: 

"In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with clubs and yelled, it was called witchcraft; today, in civilized society, it is called golf."

                - Unknown

Cryptogram Puzzle #32: 

"To cease smoking is the easiest thing. I ought to know. I've done it a thousand times."

               - Mark Twain

Cryptogram Puzzle #33: 

"Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry." 

               - Bill Cosby

Cryptogram Puzzle #34:

"I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife."

               - Ilie Nastase

Cryptogram Puzzle #35:

"Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic."

               - Unknown

Cryptogram Puzzle #36:

"Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh man....I could be eating a slow learner."

               - Lynda Montgomery

Cryptogram Puzzle #37:

"Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die."

               - Unknown

Cryptogram Puzzle #38:

"Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother."

               - Ken Dodd

Cryptogram Puzzle #39:

"I do not like broccoli. And I haven't liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it. And I'm President of the United States and I'm not going to eat any more broccoli."
               - President George H. W. Bush

Cryptogram Puzzle #40:

"My formula for success is rise early, work late, and strike oil."

               - Paul Getty

Cryptogram Puzzle #41:

"If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button."

               - Sam Levenson

Cryptogram Puzzle #42:

"College football is a sport that bears the same relation to education that bullfighting does to agriculture."

               - Elbert Hubbard

Cryptogram Puzzle #43:

"I love deadlines. I especially love the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."

               - Douglas Adams

Cryptogram Puzzle #44:

"I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph."

               -Shirley Temple

Cryptogram Puzzle #45:

"If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?"

               - Milton Berle

Cryptogram Puzzle #46:

"You can't put a price tag on love, but you can on all its accessories."

               - Melanie Clark

Cryptogram Puzzle #47:

I think the monkeys at the zoo should have to wear sunglasses so they can't hypnotize you.

               - Jack Handy

Cryptogram Puzzle #48:

"I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they're cramming for their final exam."

               - George Carlin

Cryptogram Puzzle #49:

"Why does the Air Force need expensive new bombers? Have the people we've been bombing over the years been complaining?"

               - George Wallace

Cryptogram Puzzle #50:

"The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house."

               - Jeff Foxworthy

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